The Link Adder Nexus
Connecting Worlds

Writing your own obituary sounds and feels a little strange, I know. If the idea doesn’t appeal to you, try pretending that you have just won an award and the newspaper is doing a feature story on your accomplishments. By recording what you wish to be remembered or acknowledged for, you will be able to pinpoint the values you would like to live by. And, by identifying your life’s values you will be more able to live them now and in the future.

Values are those things that are more important to you than anything else. Values pave the path for an ideal life. When we live according to the values we have embraced we live a life of fulfillment. If we neglect those values that are of great importance to us, we feel emptiness in our lives.
What would you like your legacy to be? How would you like to be remembered? Think of four of five words that describe behaviors and activities you have noted in your obituary or feature article. Perhaps you noted that you will be remembered for your community service, your love of family, your artistic abilities and your position as an expert in your field. What values do these suggest to you?

Community service would mean you value Contributing. Love of family could mean you value Relating. Remembering your artistic abilities, you would be acknowledging the value of Creativity. And, noting your position as an expert says you value Excellence.

Once you have identified the values you want to be identified with you can work on integrating them into your life in the present. You can create a life that holds true those values by choosing your goals to your fit your values.

If you want to honor the value of Creativity, for instance, you might have a goal of learning to sew or taking an art class.

Keep a list of your values handy and when contemplating a new goal, check it against your values. Values often shift over time. Someone, who once valued Adventure, may now place a higher value on Discovery or vice versa. It’s a good idea to check your values once a year, and what better time than at the start of a New Year.

Beth Densmore is a Personal Life Coach and Motivational Speaker who offers support, inspiration and motivation to those who are in transition and want to achieve a goal. For more information and more free articles like this, visit her site at http://www.newfocuscoaching.com.

The next time you find yourself relaxing on the couch, having popped some corn and about to watch the “Sopranos”, instead, pose this $1,000,000 lottery question to yourself and see what flows. What would you do if you knew you could not fail? Would you work, not work? If you knew anything you touched or did held the possibility for success – whatever that is, what would you do? If there were no time constraints, no obstacles, no self-doubt, what would you do?

Some of you are already saying, “What’s the point of this!?” “This will never be real!” “Who’s got a million dollars?…Not me!” Well, the whole point is to have you dream…to take a ride. To get to the heart of what it is that you truly value. To uncover the elements in life that is of importance to you. This “story” that you create gives you clues as to the elements you can furnish your “real life” with. More so, you may find that some of the things you dream on, cost nothing. For example, a walk in the park, time spent with friends, time spent with family, flowers in your home, eating well, exercise, a new home etc. Let me not put words in your mouth. Go on, and dream!

In order to find out what it is you really want in your life, self-exploration is the first part of that process. Questions like $1,000,000 question help you to begin to design the life, the career, and/or the relationship you desire. Pose this question to any aspect of your life, removing all boundaries, all “shoulds” and “should nots” and see what you come up with. You will be sure to unravel hidden strengths, talents, gifts and values. Values you can use in creating a game plan for your life Another important point is to be as specific as you can. Record all colors, the time of day, smells and people in your story. Be very specific. Dig deep.

It’s truly possible to live the life you dream – the life you want. But first you have to know what it is you want. Answering self-exploration questions like this is the beginning.

Clearly, this is not simple. For many of us this is a challenge, especially if we rarely give ourselves permission to dream. Pestering voices corner us. But if you allow yourself to take on this type of questioning, you will find that your personal options for living are vast and varied. With all our world of choices and unlimited possibilities, let’s begin with the dream…

I dream that I often travel the world and bring back amazing and beautiful art to share with people. And everyone is pleased with me and they say, “ooh!” “aah!” and “gimme some of that!” about my findings. Hmm…What does that say about me?

About The Author

Sandra A. Daley is the president of Daley Formulas…solutions for creative living, a life and career coaching company that believes that everyone is entitled to a full and prosperous life. She works with artists, entrepreneurs and people who are in transition in their lives and careers. Sandra facilitates several workshops: “Defining The Work You Love: A Career Fulfillment Workshop”, “So You Wanna Be In Show Business: A Workshop On How To Break Into Acting” and “Leadership and Creativity”. She also publishes an inspiring and resourceful, monthly newsletter called “Daley Formulas…solutions for creative living”. To learn more visit: www.daleyformulas.com or send an Email to info@daleyformulas.com.

I have never lived anywhere else where when you walk outside in the summer you not only feel like you have walked into a sauna, you also want to change your shirt after just walking from your car to your office (Tallahassee).

At the same time, I really can’t imagine ever living anywhere else. I’m not so much complaining as I am pointing out that these 4-H days (hot, humid, hazy, and one hundred degrees) have quite a powerful effect on people. These days seem to bring on a certain malaise in folks, what I call not just the summertime blues, but the 4-H summertime blues.

Let’s looks at several different types of summertime blues, and what we can do about them.

GENERIC SUMMERTIME BLUES

For some people, the heat simply wears them out and keeps them inside. The heat saps their energy and motivation. Once inside, it’s very easy to become inactive, lethargic, and get a little bit of cabin fever. You wind up getting most of your exercise from channel surfing.

Suggestions:

Get outside! Take the necessary precautions, just get outside.

Malls, gyms and theaters are air-conditioned. Go do something. How many reruns can you watch, looking at other people live while you waste away?

INVERSE CHILDHOOD BLUES

Part of the problem with summer is we have gotten something backward in our culture. Here’s what I mean. When we were kids, we had the summer off, and even if we knew what we wanted to do, we didn’t have the money or the ability to do it. Now that we are adults, we know more of what we want to do, may have some discretionary income to spend, and we have to work all summer.

Suggestions:

What’s one thing you always wanted to do as a child that you could do now, maybe even just a little?

Do something child-like. A squirt gun fight or a slip-and-slide in the front yard could be a blast.

TRANSITION BLUES

For some people, the beginning of summer brings a time of transition, such as a graduation, or perhaps an impending move. Whatever it may be, transition involves the end of one phase of life, and with it, a possible sense of loss. While this may be called good stress, it’s still stress. Transition also involves the beginning of another phase of life.

Suggestions:

Make room for the sadness that the end of one phase of life can bring.

Celebrate the accomplishments of the phase of life that is ending.

Make room for the excitement a new stage of life can bring. What can you look forward to with anticipation? What is something you can do now that you couldn’t do before?

VACATION BLUES

For some people, vacations can be the most stressful time of the year. Trying to cram a year’s worth of leisure and living into a few days or two weeks can be exhausting.

Suggestions:

Think small, aim low, go slow. Trash the itinerary and have fun.

Consider vacationing at home. It can be incredibly restful. And inexpensive.

POST-VACATION BLUES

This is what psychologists call “post-reinforcement pause.” What this means is a slump after lots of good stuff. Sometimes coming back to the same routine can be very difficult. This is even more difficult when you feel like you need a vacation from your vacation.

Suggestions:

Come back in time to give yourself at least a day of transition between vacation and work.

Make several small vacations instead of one large one.

Make sure you have something else to look forward to after your vacation.

CHRONIC BLUES

Chronic blues can be defined as pervasive sadness or depression. Chronic blues are experienced by people who are already feeling sad or depressed, and the summer heat just seems to intensify the problem. Sometimes even well-meaning friends, in their efforts to cheer you up, can make you feel worse. If you recognize yourself in this category, try the suggestions I’ve already mentioned and make an appointment with your doctor and then a good therapist.

There’s no shame in asking for help if you feel depressed; the only shame is in not asking for help.

While summer is traditionally a time to relax and enjoy, it’s not always that way for everyone. If you find yourself in any of the above categories, use these suggestions for curing the summertime blues.

For more tips and tools for successful living, you are invited to visit Jeff Herring’s ToolsforSuccessfulLiving.com

To begin to live in joy you must love and accept yourself. And although I am not excluding our higher existence, I am deliberately focusing on the smaller selfthe regular, human, everyday you that needs to be loved and accepted exactly as it is, for how it has been, and for however it will be.

Acceptance is a function of self-love. Succumbing is its opposite and is a function of apathy. Apathy keeps us from experiencing the joy within us. Apathy is a preoccupation with the unaccepted and judged past. Succumbing to the onslaught of critical thinking overwhelms us and we ruminate on negative assessments of the circumstances, others, and ourselves.

“I can’t control the wind, but I can control the sails.”

Notice I said succumbing overwhelms us, not the thoughts. When we become apathetic we begin to spiral downward and we convince ourselves that our situation is hopeless and that the future will be the same if not worse than the past. We feel fragmented and powerless. Succumbing to this negativity is the antithesis of self-love and joyful living. The adventure of enlightenment becomes a nightmare and something to get out of, instead of a dream to be lived in.

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” Lucille Ball

Acceptance is distinct from apathy. Where succumbing renders us powerless and keeps us stuck in the past, acceptance liberates us from the past and allows us to take positive action in the present moment. Succumbing breeds fear. Acceptance is an opening to joy.

Our thoughts and belief systems affect us physiologically. The thoughts we think release chemicals into our system. Negative thoughts deplete us, and positive life affirming thoughts align us with our joy.

You cannot change the past. You can change your attitude towards it. Acceptance allows that change to take place. By challenging ourselves to love and accept the parts of ourselves that we may eventually want to change, we override the critic that drains us, and we disallow the thought and belief systems that deplete our energy. Love and acceptance move us to take positive action.

What you have already done and thought is complete. Accept what you have already done or not done, and move yourself from the past to the present. How you are with the present moment is what matters. It is an act of wisdom to love and accept your ego, your body, your thoughts, your feelings and your past. Begin by loving and accepting whatever the condition you may find yourself in at any given moment.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Self-love is the most influential healing energy. Self-love is the highest teaching and the one most regularly overlooked. The absence of it keeps us stupid. We become stuck in a downward spiral of figuring it all out. Attempting to appear intelligent in our findings we become puppets of the altered ego and slaves to dissatisfaction.

I suggest that each morning, throughout the day, and again before going to sleep, that you repeat to yourself, “Regardless of (what is or is not happening, or has or has not happened, or will or will not happen) I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

And if you really want to disentangle yourself from the chains of the past, then you can extend the statement to include “others.” “Regardless of (what so and so said about me) or (my anger, or fear, or suspicion about________ ), I deeply and completely love and accept myself and others.”

If you are not ready to include “others” yet then say, “Even though I am not ready to include others, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” Try itit works.

Self-love is the most effective remedy for internal chaos. Wishing and hoping that things were different along with complaining about what went wrong is energy depleting to the point of shame, self-sabotage and physical sickness.

Positive feelings cannot co-exist with negative thoughts. Change your mind; change your mood.

Our bodies and our minds respond in an open and positive manner to life-enhancing input . Admiration, gratitude, cheerfulness, and amusement enhance our reception of more expanded vibrations of our LifeForce. The LifeForce is exactly that, a force of life. It is life giving, and aligns us with the joy of ongoing eternal life. Each of us is responsible for fostering the LifeForce within us and aligning our minds to receive the highest levels of input. This is cooperation and therefore co-creating with Life.

(If you are not in those experiences right now then say, “Even though I am not feeling admiration, gratitude, cheerfulness or amusement, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”)

On the other hand, our bodies and our minds respond negatively to input that has the intention of making us wrong. Usually we do this to keep ourselves from moving forward. Self-sabotage is about hating ourselves to the point of not wanting to be seen. Hiding does not allow us to continue to be alive and prosperous. We hide because there are parts of our experience that we assess as unworthy of acceptance and love.

(If you play here a lot then say, “Even though I am hiding and feel unworthy of acceptance and love, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”)

It is important to remember that we are here to grow and learn. We easily forget this when we become uncomfortable with people and conditions in our lives. We forget that the Universe in its infinite wisdom has engineered these impeccable circumstances for our schooling. This includes the people with whom we interact. This also includes the responses that we experience in ourselves and the responses we give and receive from others.

It is important to acknowledge these responses and the conditions that seemingly caused them.

“Even though I am upset with ____________, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

“Even though I (did or did not do such and such), I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

“Even though I screwed this up, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

“Even with these feelings of self hatred, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

“Even though I am confused and lost regarding ___________, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

“Even though I thought I had this managed, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

“Even though I have a hard time accepting ___________ about myself (or another), I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

“Regardless of everything that has occurred, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.”

“Even when I don’t understand what is happening or why, I deeply and completely love and accept myself and others.”

Since we are all learning, every one of us is important and needed. We touch each other’s lives in ways that may seem unnecessary and unwanted at times and therefore we judge these interactions as bad or wrong. But in a greater understanding, everything is exactly as it should be for the lesson and opportunity to expand and grow. This is why it is necessary to remind ourselves of the essential principles of acceptance and self-love.

Happiness is a function of accepting what is. Self-love and happiness go hand in hand. Before change can be accomplished, acceptance of “what is” must occur. You cannot change what you pretend does not exist.

It is difficult to accept the parts of ourselves that we want to dismiss and disown. It is also embarrassing and sometimes humiliating to see what needs to change within us if we want to grow. Nevertheless, we will grow. And with the growth comes change.

Lasting change always follows an inner change.

“To attempt to change circumstances before you change your imaginal (inner) activity is to struggle against the very nature of things. There is no outer change until there is an inner imagined change.”
Neville

A positive inner change coincides with the development of inner strength. Inner strength is a function of self-love. This inner strength (self-love) allows us to become aware of what is actually happening inside of us, and outside in the external world of circumstances. By acknowledging and accepting what is happening inside and out we align ourselves with the action of the omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent flow of love. This is joy. Unity with this force is life giving. Perceived separation from it, through non-acceptance and intolerance, is deadening.

Begin to accept yourself exactly as you are right now. It is a powerful tool that opens us up to self-love.

Love transforms. Love embraces. Love gives of itself. And most importantly, Love never fails.

This is your life. Don’t miss it.

Matt Garrigan is a motivational speaker, the founder of LifeForce Educational Corporation and the creator of The Liberty Experience Training, The Mastery Course and the Awakened Potential Course. Matt has been a pioneer in the human potential movement since 1980. His exceptional goal oriented coaching techniques, expanded consciousness training, awareness counseling, integrity coaching and spiritual guidance have assisted thousands of individuals in transforming the quality of their lives. As a motivational speaker Matt’s ability to uniquely integrate many different philosophies and practices, combined with his steadfast commitment to empower people, makes his work a potent, life enhancing experience that sheds light on new possibilities in communication, relationship, prosperity and enlightenment.


You may reprint this article in your newsletter as long as appears exactly as printed above including the links.


© Matt Garrigan – http://www.mattgarrigan.com

In a world where dynamism alters egos and principles in a man every second, where men divest in tenets that secure them from being devout to something natural, where humanity seeks reasons to be ignorant just to feel sly and intelligent – we’re confronted with issues of morality. We can no longer be satisfied with being truthful incessantly, we can no longer be happy for the sake of empathizing, we can no longer be sympathetic in a world that beseeches us to be methodological, we can no longer be human when the invariable pretension has made us lose our ethicality forever – we can only choose to be different moralists altogether. Succinctly – we need a new morality.

Before we understand morality, we must distinguish a little confused, frazzled concept, a question rather – what is humanity? It is a vicious question; it has always changed worlds and time, and it will continue, in a way that is self-righteous and regardless of any man. This is perpetual humanity.

Coming back to the question: what is humanity? A good look in the Thesaurus can befuddle geniuses. No, it is not benevolence, forbearance, benignity, piousness or any of that material bullshit scribbled besides it in Roget’s. Helping a woman cross the street, praying with an earnest heart, being spiritual or virtuous is not humanity – it is simply intention. Humanity and kindness have though a close kinship but they, by no means, are alike or least symmetric. So we remain with the question: what is humanity?

Allow me to explain. Imagine there is a solemn boy on the street. His hair is rangy and mangled due to the heavy soughing wind that flits against the sunset, and his eyes are corked with unconscious thought, a cruel oriented pensiveness. In this mood, he lifts his head towards the azure sky and smiles a little. Now, this particular unerring moment when he saw the sky – he wasn’t happy, he wasn’t sad, he wasn’t sacred or enthused or carefree or independent or loyal or kind or gentle. He was conveniently emotionless. For just that one single breath of moment, he was humane.

Humanity is about irrelevance, small or large. It is about not being an individual, even if for an instant. Humanity needs to feed on manly, ungodly morale. That is the sole reason why, truly, we must live shackled. That is the sole reason why we require a new morality.

Banality is uncommon.

To err is human.

Do not tell lies.

Smoking is injurious to your health.

Peer left, right and left again before you cross the road.

These were few of the unrelenting morals of a doctrine of human elemental mannerism, but as time elapsed, these eternal virtues have been deterred and demurred. They have been rendered useless by an unremitting growth of inborn propensity towards inexorable, irrevocable modernity. A modern world, it’s said, demands modern limits and a new kind of liberty. What is left segregated in a calloused, deformed morality.

The new morality issues a lot. It is specious at present, but vital and anon, shall be the only reason against the vice in virtue. It issues a man to be dominant, to rule his life, to control himself and to heed to every beckoning call of temptation, but however or whichever so path he unfurls to his perdition, he has but himself to impugn. He is bound to the decision he makes with ideality as his independent chores towards his necessity, but there shall assail only his conscience and no other. He can assent with the ‘wrong’ when he knows not the ‘right’, he can always misjudge the ‘yes’ and the ‘no’ from his choicest and deliberate profanity, but the repercussions are his and only his in indulgence. He can be irate, indiscreet, inane, morbid, gruesome, extravagant, kind, benevolent, considerate, loving – but he is not meant to be optimistic or regard himself with the expectation that is supposedly verdant without the earning. He can love and befriend but to the extent that he knows that his intention can be met. He is at ease to be careless with emotion but if he wishes to provide it without innocuous grace, he is meant to be alone to deal with the vicissitudes. He can be extraordinary with the only exception that he is omniscient and ubiquitous else he can be trite and prosaic like the rest of us. He, if endowed with great gifts, is or must be a leader, for the need of one is indispensably great and indefatigable. He can be remorseful to the ills he has caused to a smaller world and be impertinent if the remorse if for humanity at large. In society, he must not express fairly, he must always be discomfited and serene, he must never be expletive in pretension and he must acknowledge absolutely nothing except his own gaiety and revelry; he is bound to do so if he wishes to simply be, to have a countable subsistence. He can be human, only and only if he wishes to be one…

This is the new morality. These are the commandments. This is our epochal tryst. This is what we’ll have to resort to, one day sooner maybe. This is simply, being irrelevant and non-individual for the sake of being human, for the sake of being humane. For the sake of being alive.

About The Author

My name is Tushar Jain. I am an author. If you find anything relevant or querulous regarding the article, feel free to contact me. I will be privelged to answer you.

mosaics12@rediffmail.com

Without appropriate action you won’t get any results.
You know the results you’d like to achieve.
You know the actions you should take to help you achieve them.
Yet you don’t take action.

Hence you get no results.

Then you complain that nothing good happens to you and so on.

If this sounds like you, fear not, you are not alone, and help is at hand.

There is a simple reason for everything you do or don’t do. Everything you
do is either to avoid displeasure (‘pain’) or to gain pleasure (‘benefit’).

If you analyze your past and current actions, you’ll discover this same principle
running through each one. There’s no exception – it’s the way things are.

Thus if you want to motivate yourself to do something, it makes
sense for you to take advantage of this principle and make it work
for you.

How?

By focusing on what you stand to gain by doing a certain thing.

I know some people tell you to think of what you stand to lose by
not doing a certain thing, but be careful of that because you get what
you focus on.

It is more powerful and more beneficial for you rather, to think of, and
focus on what’s in it for you if you take a certain action. Doing this also
activates the law of attraction, which, in its simplest form, states that
‘like attracts like’ or ‘you attract what you think about’.

Incidentally, this is the way to motivate others as well. If you work with
others, or are in a position of authority (eg parent, manager, etc), this
principle works great too. Simply tell the person in question what they
stand to gain, how they stand to benefit, by doing a certain thing. Do
this in a supportive and encouraging way, and watch what happens.

It works – if you do.

Dr Kem Thompson is a Success Coach, Speaker, Author.
She can help you achieve better results at work, business,
play, spiritual or in your social life.
For resources you can use today to create a better life,
sign up for her FREE ezine (and get a thank-you gift)-
‘Days of Success’ at http://www.successeminars.com/

You love each other but can’t manage to communicate without arguing, fighting and ending up exhausted, each one in his corner, trying to lick his wounds and thinking of how to protect one self against a new attack. And in spite of that…you love each other? How is this possible? Why do people hurt most those they love?

How come we can’t express our love? How come we are full of good intentions but when it comes to reality we find ourselves again shouting and blaming the other one. And then that monster of guilt jumps out of nowhere to our throat to strangle us once again.

How to stop this infernal behavior?

First let me explain why this happens.

We all need energy. We need energy to live and to survive. Energy comes in many forms : love, attention, interest, food, friendship, money, approval, recognition…

We all need this to feel good, to build our personality and to find our place in society.

But here it is : as long as we think this energy has to come from other human beings, we will get caught up in struggle. Because human energy is limited. We have to fight for it. Human energy doesn’t last. There isn’t enough of it. So we have to be the quickest, the smartest, the most beautiful one, to attract the attention from the other and to pull his energy.

If this doesn’t work, we try another strategy. We try to pull attention by negative behavior. Every child learns this very quickly in his early life : when he is playing quietly on the floor with his toys, mum goes on cooking dinner or talking with daddy. But as soon as the kid hurts his little sister or is playing “sick”, mums hurries to give attention to him. She shouts maybe, she’s angry or worried, but no matter, all this is attention for the child! He learns very quickly which behavior gives him the greatest amount of attention and energy. When his mother or father looks at him, even angry, it still is energy coming his way! When they shout at him, they give him energy. Negative energy, alright, but it is better than no energy at all.

When we grow up, and start to date, we discover a very interesting phenomenon : when we fall in love, we receive a lot of energy (read : attention, interest, time, love etc.) for free. The other person gives us freely and abundantly a whole bunch of energy. We don’t even have to ask for it, we don’t need to apply any strategy to pick this energy, it’s all for free! We let go of our mechanism to pull the energy of others towards us. We loosen up. We “fall” in love. We almost literally fly. We are high! Everything seems to have more colour, is more vivid, we feel lighter, life seems easy, everything goes by itself, we have the feeling we love everybody and everything, even our grunchy boss! Nothing can hurt us, we feel safe and boosted with energy. But this is his or her energy! We are flying on someone else’s energy, and human energy is limited!

And that is exactly the problem! This stream of free energy begins to slow down, because the other one goes back to his business and activities he had before. Why? The body is not able to handle this amount of adrenaline for a long period of time, they say… but the real reason is we need to learn to pull our energy from somewhere else, not from a human being but from the source of energy itself.

So our lover gives us less free energy than before. We were used to this energy-flow and now we have to do it again by ourselves! Free energy is so much easier! We don’t have to do any effort to get it! And now we are getting less of this free energy, we don’t want to let this happen. At this moment our old childhood-system of capturing energy is triggered because of the scarcity of energy (there is an alarm inside us that says : “Danger! Lack of energy!”) and the old mechanism to capture energy from others starts running in our head and in our behavior. The mechanism that worked when we were a child to get the energy of our parents, will be triggered by the lack of energy now. We do what we did as a child to get energy flowing our way.

We can do this by playing the victim (“Oh poor me, look at all that I do and nobody is grateful! Look how good I am and still life strikes me with disapproval, disease and misery! Oh oh oh!”). Or we get attention by being aggressive, shouting and trying to dominate the other one. A third mechanism is harassing the other one by asking too many questions and controlling him. A fourth system is playing silence, refusing contact, not to speak and not to react, so the other one will do whatever he can to get in contact with you again and this will give you his energy.

These systems will of course make the energy of the other one flowing your way. But what next? The other one is now low on energy and wants to get his energy back. So now his mechanism is triggered by his lack of energy. He will now use the system that assured him the energy of his parents when he was little, to get his energy back from you. He will either shout at you, either playing the poor one that didn’t deserve your treatment, either torture you with a bunch of questions, or refuse contact.

This explains why we hurt the ones we love. First reason is we want their energy, energy they gave once for free. We hurt our loved onces most because they gave us love and energy and attention for free in the beginning and now we have to do it on our own and we are angry and want get back to them. We think we are entitled to have their energy still for free and start our mechanism to get it. Second reason we hurt them most is because of convenience : they are always around, their energy is available so when we are low on energy we try to rip their energy off, and hurt them by doing that.

Stealing energy from another human being is hurting him.

What can we do about this? We should only be in contact with other people when we are sure to be already filled up with energy, so we won’t steal theirs. When we are full of energy, and conscious of what happens between people, we can give the other one energy instead of ripping him off. We should not meet each other when we are low on energy. It’s the responsibility of each and every person to generate energy by himself and not to depend on other people.

How to do that? By connecting to the energy that is always available. That is the energy of the Universe. The easiest way to connect to this energy is contemplate the beauty of a flower. You also can contemplate the beauty of an object or a person. You can listen to beautiful music, take a walk in nature, meditate, pray, dance, paint, read positive texts, work on your mission on earth, love your cat or dog, anything that gives you energy.

Make a list of every activity and behavior that increases your energy level. As soon as you feel you’re in a conflict with your partner, boss, child, parent or whoever, do something to get yourself together and raise your energy. Don’t say anything until your energy-level is again high enough to be able to send energy to the other one. By sending energy, you are sure not to steal energy from the other one. This is an act of love. If you are not able to get your energy level any higher, go to another place, do something for you and wait until your vibrations are high enough to meet the other one again.

The important thing in a relationship is not to make the other happy or to expect the other one to make you happy, but to make yourself happy and offer this happiness as a free gift to the other!

Loving another human being is giving him energy!
See the difference? Do you want to love your loved ones or steal their energy?

Written by Ineke Van Lint, psychologist. You are a unique, wonderful person! Find out why in the two free e-courses on www.theenthusiasm.com. Find your purpose and realize your goals. Be a success!

Have you heard something referred to as a “nine day wonder”? The phrase refers to something that causes a sensation for a brief period of time and then fades into obscurity. The origin of this phrase is usually tied to the nine-day reign of Lady Jane Grey (1537-1554) as Queen of England. This reluctant queen met an untimely fate. More on that later…

I added a new Fun Commandment recently to address a very pesky and persistent nine day wonder we all face – fear as a motivator. Fear is a great motivator…for a brief period. Then it does worse than fade into obscurity; fear adds to our load of stress and pressure. So I’m calling for an end to this nine day wonder’s reign with my Fun Commandment, Motivate Yourself with Fun Rather than Fear.

Motivating yourself with fun rather than fear pays big dividends in myriad ways. Making this choice accelerates your ability to communicate, rests your brain, lowers your stress, increases your tolerance for pain, among other things. In this article, however, I am focusing on one incredibly important and impactful side effect of this Commandment – using fun to motivate yourself increases your creativity.

Creativity is an ability highly sought by businesses and employees alike. Creativity is trumpeted in every mission statement and praised by every CEO for good reason – we know that creativity brings breakthroughs! Since the ability to create breakthroughs is both a highly sought after and also a highly marketable skill, creativity gets a lot of deserved attention.

Yet there are still many myths to dispel about creativity. One of the biggest myths is that creativity is fueled by time pressure. Time pressure is an example of fear-based motivation because it involves trying to escape a negative consequence rather than moving toward a positive outcome. Deadlines are a reality, but using fear to fuel our creative juices has the opposite effect.

The alternative is to use fun as our motivator. Theresa Amabile, head of the Entrepreneurial Management Unit at Harvard Business School, has been studying creativity for 30 years. For the past 8 years she has collected nearly 12,000 daily journal entries from 238 people working on creative projects in seven large corporations. She and her team scoured journals for moments when people struggled with a problem or came up with a new idea. The following rules for using fun to motivate creativity are inspired directly from Amabile’s research.

1. Deadlines are fear-based; if you want to be creative you must give yourself an “incubation period.” Deadlines create distractions that rob your attention, the research indicates. Even with a deadline looming, to get creative you should focus on your work in an environment protected from distractions.

2. Competition is fear-based; collaboration is fun-based. If you want to amplify your creativity, the research tells you to foster the confidence to share your ideas with others. Be open to debate with collaborators and create a noncompetitive environment. You’ll hit new heights of creativity!

3. Catching people doing things right, rather than punishing them for doing things wrong, is fun-based. Public celebrations, according to the research, of accomplishments are a boon for creativity. If you want to spark creativity, publicly recognize someone’s work or contributions!

4. Sparking intrinsic motivation is what fun accomplishes when you use it as a motivator. Intrinsic motivation, the research proves, is critical to creativity. Anyone, it turns out, can be highly creative – when they become intrinsically motivated! Motivating yourself with fun clears away barriers and allows your experience, knowledge, and skills to foster new, creative ways of thinking.

5. You are more likely to have a creative breakthrough if you were happy the day before. When you’re happy, which usually happens as a byproduct of fun-based motivation, the research clearly indicates a great chance of your happiness “incubating” overnight to show up as a creative idea the following day.

How about that? I couldn’t have asked for more compelling evidence that fun is a better personal and professional motivator than fear. Amabile’s 8-year study clearly shows that today’s happiness predicts tomorrow’s creativity! So start getting happy today by motivating yourself with fun and then re-create your world tomorrow!

By the way, Lady Jane Grey was reluctant to take the throne of England because she was only 15 years old and she held unpopular Protestant beliefs. Her reluctance was well-founded; the young Queen relinquished the crown after just 9 days, plead guilty to treason, and was eventually beheaded.

Let’s give fear, as our motivator, the same fate. Fear becomes a nine day wonder when we replace it with fun today!

How to turbo-charge your health, success, and vitality! Clifford Kuhn, M.D., America’s Laugh Doctor, teaches people and organizations to be more healthy and successful through the use of fun and humor. A psychiatrist, and the former associate chairperson of the University of Louisville’s renowned Department of Psychiatry, Dr. Kuhn now dispenses his unique Fun Factor prescription from http://www.natural-humor-medicine.com/EZA7. On his website you will find tons of fun, free ways for you to maximize your sense of humor, and enjoy a life others will envy and admire.

As life and lifestyles speed up, so does the growing increase of the sense of longing, wandering just what else is there for ourselves, our families. Some people address their thoughts and feelings as valid and some do the exact opposite, they act as if those questions don’t exist.

For those that avoid the inner questions, they tend to feel uncertainty, depression, and weighed down. Then they seem to wonder what is wrong with them. The truth is, nothing is wrong, their bodies are doing exactly what they were intended to do… alert you that something in your life needs attention.

Our bodies are amazing because they really do work together with our personal well-being. When we take care of ourselves, our bodies function as they should naturally. When we subject ourselves to negative behaviors and lifestyles, our bodies pay the price. You may not be able to always see the repercussions of negative behavior right away, but it does take its toll in the long term.

Our behaviors can trigger messages from our bodies. Ever wonder why you get sick after being stressed? Or why being around negative people leaves you feeling exhausted? This is just your body’s way of sending out a warning sign that your well-being is being subjected to something that causes imbalance.

Some people stop and listen to their body’s signals and others choose to try and prevent them without getting to the root of the problem. They try to “numb” their instincts with outside stimulants, which leads to an additional source of negative behavior.

If we take the time to hear what our mind and bodies have to say, we just may find that the answers we were looking for were right in front of us, we were just too busy looking around to see.

Inspirational Artist & Author Meilena Hauslendale’s work and articles are displayed internationally. She is the founder of Silence Speaks International Artist Association and the Editor of Intrigue Magazine. Published books include, Making Your Purpose Your Business and Recognizing Unhealthy Relationships. Email: articles@meilena.com http://www.meilena.com

Here’s a four step process to get your creativity going:

1) Precisely define your goal.

The more precisely you define a goal the more likely you are to get it and recognize it when it arrives. You cannot reach a goal that you do not have.

2) Identify efforts that have not worked in the past and drop them.

Don’t stay stuck. Remember that you are stuck when you keep doing the same things that don’t work over and over again and expect different results.

If it’s not working, it’s not working. Don’t try to come up with new and better ways to ride a dead horse.

3) Come up with crazy, silly, bizarre, outlandish ways to achieve your goal, that you would never do, but are fun to think about.

One of the best paths to creativity is humor. Take it.

4) Come up with creative ideas that will get you where you want to go.

Sometimes the seeds for these creative ideas are in the crazy ideas. Other times, simply laughing at the crazy ideas will boost your creative juices for other solutions.

Remember how creative you were as a kid? The things you could build, the games you could create, the stories you told. Why not use the same creativity as an adult?

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